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rainwsker:

Do you know what I find weird about my mental illness? I can be completely down, feel like crying for no reason and just want to disapear, but then I see something funny that makes me laugh, yet while I’m laughing and finding the thing funny, I can still feel the cold of my anxiety/depression underneath.

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“Depression is humiliating. It turns intelligent, kind people into zombies who can’t wash a dish or change their socks. It affects the ability to think clearly, to feel anything, to ascribe value to your children, your lifelong passions, your relative good fortune. It scoops out your normal healthy ability to cope with bad days and bad news, and replaces it with an unrecognizable sludge that finds no pleasure, no delight, no point in anything outside of bed. You alienate your friends because you can’t comport yourself socially, you risk your job because you can’t concentrate, you live in moderate squalor because you have no energy to stand up, let alone take out the garbage. You become pathetic and you know it. And you have no capacity to stop the downward plunge. You have no perspective, no emotional reserves, no faith that it will get better. So you feel guilty and ashamed of your inability to deal with life like a regular human, which exacerbates the depression and the isolation. If you’ve never been depressed, thank your lucky stars and back off the folks who take a pill so they can make eye contact with the grocery store cashier. No one on earth would choose the nightmare of depression over an averagely turbulent normal life.
It’s not an incapacity to cope with day to day living in the modern world. It’s an incapacity to function. At all. If you and your loved ones have been spared, every blessing to you. If depression has taken root in you or your loved ones, every blessing to you, too. No one chooses it. No one deserves it. It runs in families, it ruins families. You cannot imagine what it takes to feign normalcy, to show up to work, to make a dentist appointment, to pay bills, to walk your dog, to return library books on time, to keep enough toilet paper on hand, when you are exerting most of your capacity on trying not to kill yourself. Depression is real. Just because you’ve never had it doesn’t make it imaginary. Compassion is also real. And a depressed person may cling desperately to it until they are out of the woods and they may remember your compassion for the rest of their lives as a force greater than their depression. Have a heart. Judge not lest ye be judged.”

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→ Juil 31 2014 / PERMALINK

→ Juil 31 2014 / PERMALINK

(0 notes) fuck this personal
“I’m a paradox. I want to be happy, but I think of things that make me sad. I’m lazy, yet I’m ambitious. I don’t like myself, but I also love who I am. I say I don’t care, but I really do. I crave attention, but reject it when it comes my way. I’m a conflicted contradiction. If I can’t figure myself out, there’s no way anyone else has.”
Unknown  (via littlesestra)

(Source : psych-facts)

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i am so fucking restless it’s ridiculous

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pupbutt:

no words to even describe how much I prefer cold weather over hot weather 

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sullied:

i am so jealous of all the people who are comfortable with who they are physically and mentally

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“Oh my God, what if you wake up some day, and you’re 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written; or you didn’t go swimming in warm pools and oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It’s going to break your heart. Don’t let this happen.”
— Anne Lamott (via ancient-serpent)

(Source : jerfreyy)

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(Source : terrakion)

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pkmnheartgold:

if u tag me in things i will be 100% happy idont even care what it is

(Source : frlg)

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konorai:

kurakos:

learning languages is fun until i gotta do it for a grade

Learning new things in general is fun until I have to do it for a grade

(Source : kawozhin)

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(Source : gwendz)

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